Escaping Domestic Violence

I think one of the key messages I got from our follow-up show on Domestic Violence is that as a victim, you must realise that:-

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

ITS  NOT YOUR FAULT!

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect, especially from those who proclaim to love  and cherish them.

There is help at hand for people who need it.There are people who dedicate time, purpose and passion to offering help to anyone who feels that they are a victim, or knows a victim.

It IS possible to get help if you so desire. There is hope for the future.

Please listen to the podcast of Ayo Sonoiki in conversation - Domestic Violence part 2 here:

Ayo Sonoiki in conversation -Domestic Violence Part 2 07/19 by Living outside Nigeria | Blog Talk Radio


Please listen to the podcast of Ayo Sonoiki in conversation - Domestic Violence part 1 here:

Ayo Sonoiki in conversation -Domestic Violence Part 1 07/04 by Living outside Nigeria | Blog Talk Radio

Here are some helpful contact details mentioned in these episodes:

Website: www.domesticviolenceuk.org

Email: admin@domesticviolenceuk.org

Facebook Page: http://facebook.com/domesticviolenceuk

Twitter: http://twitter.com/dviolenceuk

Young Peoples Website: www.talkaboutdv.org

Facebook Page: http://facebook.com/talkaboutdv

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TalkAboutDV1

Apps

Android App: B-Informed in Google play store

Blackberry App: B-Informed in the blackberry world store * waiting for approval from blackberry

Apple App: B-Informed *** waiting for apple to approve our vendor

Text Directory: Text the word ’2FIND’ followed by your postcode to 88802 to receive a list of support organisations within a 15 miles

The Helplines

Women: The National Domestic Violence Helpline 08082000247(run by Women’s Aid in partnership with Refuge)

Men: The Men’s Advice Helpline on 0808 801 0327

The National LGBT Helpline(Broken Rainbow) on 0300 999 5428.

Glowing Futures
 Website: http://www.glowingfuture.org.uk

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/GlowingFuture

The Eyes See Better Than The Ears Hear!

On my way into work today I sat next to a deaf couple on the London Underground.

'They must be in love' I thought to myself.   

They were like any other couple within my carriage, apart from the fact that they looked at each other as they spoke. They touched each other to get their attention. They seemed to smile a lot.

It got me thinking..... How often do we look at the person we're talking to, especially if you're in a relationship with them? 

I think of how we talk to our kids while "multi-tasking".

How we have conversations with our partners while we're in separate rooms (basically shouting through the door)

How we pay for our shopping without making eye contact with the cashier.

Ok, so you won't always be in a position to look deep into someone's eyes while having a conversation ..... but I think we probably could do it a lot more if we tried. 

Take some time to connect with somebody. Remember, The eyes see better than the ears hear.

The oh-so creative pair!

I had the pleasure of Tope Abulude (Balloon Inspirations) and Bibi Oluyole (Cakes Provocateur) on my show yesterday.
Who would of thought that sooooo much goes into baking and decorating a cake or designing decor for an event?!

Listen to internet radio with Living outside Nigeria on BlogTalkRadio

Move on!!

MOVE ON!

Here’s a thought (I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THIS, JUST THINK ABOUT IT). Get into the front seat of your car, then turn your body around. Knees on the front seat with your back on the steering wheel, your face looking toward the trunk. Stay in that position and try to drive the car forward. It’s impossible, right? If by some miracle you do manage to go forward I guarantee you won't get very 

far. If the car represents our lives then the way we are sitting in the driver's seat represents the way we approach it. It’s really hard to move on when you’re looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the car... what is wrong is the position some of us are sitting in, meaning there is nothing wrong with your life, and you’re just facing the wrong direction.

There are many things that can cause you to be out of alignment with life, but instead of focusing on the many, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular... And that is GUILT.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about all the guilt that he feels. Guilt that his marriage fell apart. Guilt that he doesn’t get to see his kids very often. Guilt that he’s not in a financial position to do more for them. Guilt over the mistakes he’s made in his past. Guilt over lots of money that he wasted doing the wrong things. So much guilt about everything.

I had to stop him and remind him of a few things. What I know about guilt is this: guilt is a tool that is used to destroy you. We all make mistakes. We all have fallen short. We have all disappointed someone, including ourselves at some point. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. It's done. Instead of beating yourself up about it, how about putting that same energy into making sure that it doesn’t happen again and healing anyone who may have been hurt by it?

You can’t let guilt win or consume you. You can’t let it take over your thoughts because if you do, you will start a downward spiral. It’s like this... guilt is the trick that makes you feel that you’re unworthy, and if you feel that you’re unworthy then you will feel that you don’t deserve any good thing to happen to you. And so, as a man thinks so is he. If you think you don’t deserve good things you will never have good things. And when things are falling apart you will feel guilty that they are falling apart. Do you see the cycle? There is no winning here. In order to be free and be lifted you must let go of the guilt or it will keep you bound.

How do you do that? Well, it’s a process, but you start by asking forgiveness of whomever you hurt, ask forgiveness of God, and most of all ask forgiveness of yourself. Although God forgives us most easily, we sometimes can't forgive ourselves. You can’t get to great things ahead if you're always looking behind you. It’s like trying to drive your car in that awkward position. (Tyler Perry)_

Winter protection....

Any doubt left as to whether summer was over was definitely eliminated this morning!

 Although we've not had a long scorching summer here in the UK for some time now, you still get used to not having to wear those heavy winter coats and gloves. And then all of a sudden, you’re rudely reminded that this is the UK where you’re guaranteed unpredictable weather. 

Anyway, winter is here, and is probably here to stay for a while.

So my winter beauty regime starts.
 Well, I say beauty regime, it’d  more accurate to say:

 ‘So my  daily slapping on of moisturisers begins’! 

 I tend to have quite dry skin and end up mixing all manner of creams together to get the right potion to avoid those unsightly ashy knuckles, elbows and feet.

A really effective  moisturiser is Shea butter and I've found a great product that is 95% pure Shea butter.

Shea butter creams can be found in loads of shops but most products only have, at best, 20% of the natural stuff. They’re mostly mixed with water and other stuff to make them last longer.

Sheacolive (www.sheacolive.com) products have Shea butter, Cocoa butter, coconut and olive oils as well as a variety essential oils (that suppress that Shea butter smell, because the natural stuff smells, well…., let’s just say strong!).  

Sheacolive products can be used on the skin and scalp and are soft enough to use straight from the tub.
They a are made in the UK but the main ingredients (Shea and Cocoa butter) are imported from Ghana. 

I love these products; they leave my skin feeling soft, supple and ‘fully loaded’  and I know I'm paying for the real stuff which makes me also tingle all over! 
So come on winter, blow and freeze your worst! Me and my skin are ready.....

Have a look at their website to find out more about the company and their products.They come highly recommended, by me at least.

A range of their products

My favourite at the moment, body butter with Orange oil, lovely!

For the things I have...

Today, I made the kids turn off the TV, and asked my son to put his phone away.
Then the 3 of us sat in the living room and played Charades (or 'Give us a Clue' as I prefer to call it!)

 Such a simple game,with nothing required other than willing participants and a bit of imagination. 
We had a blast and laughed SOOOOO much at and with each other.
 Its amazing what spending time together as a family, doing the little things, can do for the health and happiness of that family.
 I'm grateful that I have a 17 yr old who I can relate with, share a joke with, laugh with, hug, tickle (he'll hate me for saying that!!). I'm grateful that I have a 9yr old who loves spending time with her brother.

 I'm grateful that there is love shared in my household. There are many things I don't have, but I wouldn't trade them for what I do have!

Tango with me

I had the privilege of attending the UK film premiere of TANGO WITH ME on the 17th of August 2012 at the Greenwich Odeon.

I've attended a couple of other premieres and so was expecting the usual 'hustle' in order to speak to the cast and crew. Not so on this occasion. It had an informal approach which I think worked in its favour.

We settled down to watch the film (just about 30mins behind schedule) and I must say I was really impressed by what I saw. It had a simplistic approach and feel which I'm sure was not easy to achieve. The unpredictable storyline was a nice deviation from the Nollywood norm and whoever the costume designer was should be paid double whatever they're originally signed up for!

The film takes the viewer through a roller coaster of emotions and the support cast stole the show as far as I'm concerned.

Director Mahmood Alli-Balogun

The director Mahmood Alli-Balogun  and lead actor  Benjamin Joseph answered questions from the audience and we got a little  insight into what it takes to put a production of that quality together.



 

The film is now on general release in the UK. See the website for listing details

www.tangowithmefilm.com